Good day, all!
With this title, I am trying to delve deeper into the duality I was maintaining throughout my life, knowingly and unknowingly. Being off the beaten track was important to me, but the beaten track was only for show and to serve a basic physical survival purpose. I may aver that extremes of my life were non-availability of free will, and only free will is present. This, in a way, matches with what I had read about Buddha opting for the concept that only free will exists, as otherwise, I may be treated as illogical. Yes, I am responsible for whatever I have done so far with my life, even though medical science may give me some leeway due to bipolarity issues I face. But from my point of view, all along my life I was able to stand on either extreme and show to the world that I am holding a stable state. As I said, true to my knowledge, I was never keen on making decisions or executing them and the world as I see it now just evolved around me. I never had a choice. I can only say that the line between free will and no free will is too thin to be visible or discernible. I may add an adage in Malayalam here. It is about being precarious with one standing on two boats with either leg on different ones. I used to pole boats when I was young, and this saying clearly matches the way I took up my life. But then I always had a solution for this scenario, as I may maintain my status quo till I can hold on to both the boats, and when I can not, I shift over to the boat which I find safe and leave the other one, keeping it always in my sight. And, once things or tide or swell get steady, I get back to the other boat and start my circus again.
And about the beaten track; it is okay, and over the years realized that the good and bad are just complementary, and you can not eliminate the bad and keep only the good. A disappearing act is the best way if you find the place you live in is bad and don't try to swallow the whole world, or rather try to change the whole world! If you are in bad company and impossible to live there, just shift and try another place. And that is all I can suggest right now. If I come across a better solution, I may update here later. Lot more to write on this, too, as most of my threads are infinite to me! Or if I may borrow from Sadhguru, even though he is not very clear, and as I myself had mentioned earlier, what is unveiling in my life is just an illusion, and I may not get trapped with these things. And at this stage I am not sure whether we all have the same truth/ absolute, and even if so, will we all reach the same accord at any time in our life. Never try to be a winner is the only solution to not be a loser!
The track which I had chosen, which was off the beaten one, I found all along was not totally unbeaten, to my surprise. Like a lighthouse or celestial objects for a sailing ship, all along there was clear-cut evidence that people had walked this way. They might have got diverted, or sometimes I might have tried to follow the path they created. Many a time I realised that they may not be the one I am seeking and retraced back to my original one. Some people have even died at some points, and I had to be cautious and sit back and analyse what caused their end.
Lastly, I may say that the concept of no free will can make you infallible, like they say about the catholic Pope and many Godly figures. About the Pope, it is a burden he has to carry, and I may not dare to become a catholic Pope even with accepting the no-free-will concept.
Enough for now...
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